...Am I doing this right?

Day 9 of Shelter in place - Day 2 of homeschooling - Day ? of wanting cocktail time to start before it is socially acceptable...

I've basically been training for this my whole life. In a moment of pre-teen-hormone-riddled angst four weeks ago, I was abruptly questioned, "What is it you do all day, anyway? You don't do anything for me!" I regarded the question as rhetorical, and left it to sit on the kitchen counter like a dirty glass left by my questioner. Life is ironic some times, and no time like the present to learn a few lessons, I mean, what else is there to do?

We should normally be jovial in this primaveral time, everything is starting to wake up from the winter nap, bud, sprout and bloom, but it is slightly lost. The fact that reality currently sounds more like a fictional book than anything else leaves an uneasy feeling in all of us. If this were just a "long winter" situation, one could at least plan ahead for something better... a trip, a party, a shopping spree, a date night, anything! We have crossed into the complete unknown, with no map or timeline as to what to do or where to go next...unless you find going from one room to another, thrilling. I'm grateful as before all of this 'stranger than fiction' happened, my husband and I got to go away for the weekend. Mind you it was a work trip for him, but being away was almost bittersweet knowing we were coming home, not really sure what life was going to throw at us next. At some point we're going to coin the catch-phrase, "We'll always have Naples..."

And like any time in history, I'm so impressed how quickly a slogan can begin to roll off the tongue. Every decade has had some fine tuned slogan or catch phrases that comes into play... I Like Ike, Yes We Can, Nebraska-It's Not For Everyone, and Vote For Pedro. I say these with a tinge of jest because they can be looked back on with a humorous nostalgia, and right now we could use some light at the end of the  quarantine tunnel. Are these mantras or like a half-time pep talk? In the last two weeks the vernacular has created the much used "Uncertain Times" and has turned it into "We are all in this together". Pretty quick turn around for positive affirmations if you think about it. I think I'm just going to stick with my tried and true mantra, "...Am I doing this right?"

As I mentioned before, the moment I've been training for my whole life happened...we are home bound. All of us. With the exception of my husband getting to go to work, the rest of us suddenly were spending 24/7 together. I thought it a fitting lesson to possibly show my afore mentioned questioner what I did all day. He got the message quick, and with a toilet brush in his hand. It is crazy, because for the first time the playing field is sort of leveled. All the people I know with careers outside of the home(you should know I envy you), are now suddenly thrown into my daily life. You never notice how dirty your house, how many extra meals you have to fix, or how unorganized you might be when you are out of your home 8 hours of the day. Except for never having a moment alone, this 'shelter in place' is basically a Tuesday to me.

The first couple of days were like one long weekend. At first it felt like vacation, nothing to really do and no place to go. It took a pandemic for me to sleep in for the first time in more than a decade, I actually slept in past 8 a.m. Putting on clothes elicited the question: WHERE ARE YOU GOING??! After entering the second week, I started thinking, whilst jammies and no bra are comfortable, do/can/will my jeans even fit me any longer? Soon enough watching the news felt depressing. Fearing I was teetering down the rabbit hole, started calling people. Any interaction, even if you are probably obsessing about the current normal, was vital. 

The rhetorical question I was asked a few weeks ago? Today I would probably answer back "What do I do all day? What ever the heck I want!" I find myself, now more than ever, plotting out times of day that I could be outside to either exercise or just appreciate all the free things nature holds, ALONE. Just to think about something other than what to do next to keep myself and those around me occupied. Once I've had my brief fill, if the sun is shining I shove my kids outdoors and pray they are out there for longer than 10 minutes-vitamin D and all. But with the discovery of flashlight tag, at least they're outdoors burning off some steam and making some memories. 

I find myself taking pictures of more things, yes more than I already do. To remember? To document? Not really sure why. I guess part of me is wondering, is this just the beginning or a new way of life? Time, patience, prayer and faith will tell and no doubt we could all lean into it. We have entered uncertain times, and we are all in this together. Stay safe, stay sane and know I am just over here mentally asking myself, am I doing this right?