...riding the escalator

Do you hear that silence? This summer I was gifted not even predawn silence, AFTER 8 a.m. silence. I’ve waited 14 years for that to happen, figuring it never would. This summer, everyone’s internal clock got the memo and no one felt the need to pray the sun up. Now, it is the silence of everyone in school, it’s a quiet I’ve been waiting for.

1st, 3rd, 7th and 9th…how is that even possible? How in the world did they grow up so fast? I’ve started coloring my hair because I was tired of people asking Atticus if he was having fun with his grandma. The days seem to fly by and time seems like something of a mystery. Every year I pretty much think the same thing, but this year is different. The word that roams my head at the start of this school year is INDEPENDENCE...but are they ready for what they have wished for?

I've never attempted walking a tight rope, but some mornings I feel like I am missing a flashy costume and a huge spot light on me, crowd aghast, waiting to see me plummet to my death. And that is just asking what everyone wanted for breakfast...who knew that was such an offensive question? HORMONES and DRAMA QUEENS prevail around here currently. Not sure if it is the fact that the Talls are heading into junior high and high school, but good grief, it is rife. This entrance into new territory have a few on edge. They aren't going into a different building, so for me I thought easy-peasy. I was told in no uncertain terms how wrong I was to presume that, I have only been there before, but I digress. It is a little calmer now, but this morning I was told I complain about other drivers too much. As the got out of the van and walked into school, I smiled, but secretly wanted to PEEL OUT Dukes of Hazzard-stye. I did not.

While I haven’t hit the realm of changing into a woman yet with Nora, she discovered a book about girls and their changing bodies. I think it was titled something about how to take care of yourself as a young woman, I was tired, and didn't figure she would find it a page-turner. However, the Helen Redy in her was like, this is a must read. It was only when she came downstairs one morning and let me know that she now knows how to properly insert a tampon that alerted me to the actual content of said book. And now she is discovering that she would rather not wear underwear. My husband says, "think of the money we'll save!" My thoughts dart to the weird laundry stains. Small price to pay for comfort and someone feeling the need to be "free" so to speak.

I remember when the kids were little, we would go to the mall and the one thing they would WANT to do is ride the escalator. Simple pleasures I suppose. When they would take that first step, slightly unsure of themselves, you would see this look on their faces...would they get sucked into the contraption? They took their leaps of faith survived, that was the thrill, at least maybe for me. At times I feel like my precious offspring and I are on escalators going the opposite way. In their minds eye it seems fine, cut to me trying to get to them going the wrong way. Perhaps the INDEPENDENCE that I earlier spoke of, is my obligation to give it. My husband reassures me, constantly but in a very zen way, if they need/want help, they will ask. Give them the space they need to taste a little independence...at least enough for the hormones and drama queens to sort out their own everyday bag of weird.